May 312020
 

4 years ago today I walked into OHSU to have my Brain Tumor removed. Such a long and short time 4 years can be. It is a VERY long time for those of us with a Glioblastoma but such a short time when you look at our lifetimes. I have seen too many people not make it this far after diagnosis, people I felt were just as capable (or more capable) of beating this cancer thing. Every day I wonder why have I made it this far, how long will it last, can I hit that 5 year mark, what they used to call “remission”? I just think, that is when I can get life insurance again so I can make sure Jessie is well cared for when this damn disease catches up to me.

Hitting milestones puts things in perspective. I can be rather fussy, I want things clean, neat, and tidy (yes, this is rather selective) BUT life is messy, we don’t come with a definitive manual how to live it. A couple things I have learned over this past 4 years, don’t put things on hold and don’t obsess on making it perfect. This year we finally put in a raised bed garden and one of my favorite things to do is walk out with my cup of coffee and check it out each morning. We threw in a ton of flowers and plants this year. Are they all I the “perfect spot”, don’t care anymore because I am going to enjoy them where they are.

4 years ago I was bound and determined to get back on my bike and every spring I wonder how much longer do I have left. Last week I was finally back on the mountain bike and while there was a lot of pain and discomfort grinding up that hill the reward is a blast flying down. Yah we got muddy and sweaty and it is a pain to clean everything but damn it is fun.

Tomorrow it will be 3 years since we adopted Olive and what a whole new world of mess that has become BUT she also provides an endless amount of joy. She is one of the most unique dogs I have ever encountered. Her ENDLESS amount of dog hair drive me crazy and my God can that dog snore!! She is also sweet and loving and has those giant sad (manipulative) eyes. On her adoption anniversary she gets to sleep in our bed (and I get a horrible night of sleep) but it makes her so happy to be in our bed and everyone should have an opportunity to be happy.

In 4 years a lot can happen, some of it good, some of it bad, embrace all of it! Get out there and live it, embrace the mess, the sweat, the joy and relish the fact we are alive. You only get this opportunity once so make the best of it!

Thank you everyone that have loved and supported me over the past 4 years. I am eternally grateful and look forward to relying on all of you for the next 4 (and the 4 after that and so on…)

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